


Still Alive

by SunTraitor



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Affection, Post-Canon, Separation Anxiety, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Stimming, The cores and GLaDOS are all humanoid robots, meltdowns, updates are slow because author has adhd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25656022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunTraitor/pseuds/SunTraitor
Summary: The homesickness and loneliness is starting to get to Wheatley after being stranded in space.
Relationships: Chell/GLaDOS, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Space Core/Wheatley
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	Still Alive

**Author's Note:**

> ciao :o quarantine is getting me back into 5 year old special interests and i love it :)
> 
> i'm really excited to start writing the next few chapters! :) this chapter was a little hard for me to write, but i think it's okay! i hope y'all enjoy it! :D

_"I already fixed it! And you are NOT coming back!"_

_\---_

That was the last thing Wheatley heard before being hurtled in space. 

He didn't know how long exactly he'd been up there. It felt like an eternity, but realistically he knew it could've only been a couple of months. He had no way to know for sure, though. All he knew was the loneliness was starting to kick in. He had Space Core, sure, but he wasn't really much company, and his near-constant space talk would get on his nerves after a point.

So, Wheatley had begun talking to himself a lot. When he wasn't talking to himself, he was sleeping, or attempting to send another transmission to Earth. He knew each time it wouldn't go through, but he needed something to do. It became a habit. Or he would just float and listen to Space Core's babbling for who knows how long. It was better than mind-numbing silence, at least.

Today, he tried sending another transmission. He shouldn't have gotten as upset as he did when it didn't go through, but he did.

He covered his eyes and leaned back, letting out a distressed moan. "I don't know why I even keep trying. I mean... it's been, what, two months? Three? I stopped keeping track a while ago..." He muttered, crossing his arms and hugging himself tightly. "Not a single transmission has gone through! Is... is there something wrong inside of me? Is she just ignoring me?" He asked, to nobody in particular. 

He was silent for a moment, jerking his head up to watch Space Core orbit around him. He could hear him naming all the stars and constellations he saw when he was at perigee with Wheatley. A part of him expected Space Core to answer him, but, of course, no answer came. 

"I just wish I could take it all back... y'know?" He continued, craning his neck to look back at Earth. They were very far away from, now. He didn't want to imagine the possibility of them never going back home.

"If I could take it all back, I would, in a heartbeat. I would apologize, tell her how sorry I am, and- and not just because I'm stranded in space..." He lamented, flapping the collar of his lab coat. 

He closed his eyes. He felt like he was about to cry, thinking about never going back home. It was so lonely in space. He missed the comfort and routine back home. He missed Chell, he missed when they tried escaping together. He always tried to look strong, but he was terrified the whole time. 

He ached all over. He remembered being in control. He loved being in control of everything, he loved feeling smart and powerful. He remembered trying to hold everything together while the whole place was falling apart. He was so scared. 

Then, he fought Chell. His only friend, and he nearly killed her. He felt tears slip down his cheeks. He let out a small sob, feeling hot all over.

He felt a gentle tug on his sleeve, snapping him out of his thoughts. He opened one eye, trying to wipe the tears away. It was Space Core, giving him a funny, concerned look.

"I'm not in the mood, mate." He said briskly, looking away. He felt hot, he could hear a soft _whirring_ in his ears. He just wanted it to be quiet.

"Are you not having fun?" He asked, sounding confused.

Wheatley laughed, avoiding eye contact. "Oh, no, I'm having the time of my life!" He declared sarcastically. "Who would ever be upset about being stranded in space?" He spoke callously, crossing his arms and looking away.

Space Core smiled nervously, clapping his hands together quietly. "I saw a satellite earlier...!" He recounted, in attempts to cheer Wheatley up.

Wheatley narrowed his gaze, hugging his knees to his chest. He felt exhausted.

"I'm not in the..." He began, before being cut off.

"-And stars! Lots of stars! You can see so many constellations! Pisces, and Aquarius, and Andromeda, and-" Space Core continued excitedly, before being cut off by Wheatley.

"I'm not in the mood!" He snapped, covering his ears and closing his eyes. "Please, just..." He began, letting out a tired whimper. "Shut up." The whirring noise was so loud now, he could barely think or hear his own thoughts.

Space Core jumped, startled by the sudden outburst. He frowned, opening his mouth to speak, before looking away and deciding against it. He moved back a bit.

Wheatley forced himself to sleep, knowing he'd feel better in the morning- or, what became "morning" to him. He didn't know what time it was on Earth.

He had very broken sleep, and the usual nightmares. He had gotten used to those, as he'd gotten them a lot at Aperture. He knew it was all fake, but it still terrified him. When he woke up, he felt hot all over. He overheated when he was stressed, and he could _hear_ his internal fans trying to keep him from shutting off until his temperature goes back to normal. It was deafening.

He tugged at his lab coat, overwhelmed by the noise and heat. It would stop at any moment, he had to keep telling himself that. The whirring was so loud, he didn't even realize Space Core was still not talking until it had stopped.

When the silence hit him, he let his hands fall to his sides, jerking his head around to look for Space Core. He _would_ have called his name, but he didn't know if he even had one. He'd just been calling him "Space" or "Spacey" in his head this whole time.

When he had finally spotted him, he noticed how far away he was. He was hugging his knees, looking upset. He felt a pang of guilt in his chest, he didn't mean to snap at him like he did.

Wheatley started moving towards him, with some difficulty because of the distance. As he got closer, Space Core open his eyes and Wheatley could see the apprehensive look on his face.

"Hey," He began slowly. "I- I didn't mean to yell at you, earlier. I'm sorry." He apologized, trying to keep his voice steady. Space Core continued to stare at him.

He tugged at the collar of his lab coat. "I... er, was actually about to send another transmission, to Earth" He continued, his voice cracking. "B-but it was... too quiet, to focus." He added, flapping his collar.

Space Core continued to stare, but looked interested in what he had to say. So he was listening, he was just choosing not to answer. Wheatley frowned.

"I, uh..." He stammered. "Oh, for God's sake... I miss hearing you talk about space." He admitted, looking away.

Space Core finally smiled at him, moving closer and taking his right hand. "I forgive you." He said happily. 

Wheatley tensed up a bit, before relaxing, smiling and squeezing Space Core's hand. "Thank you." He said softly.

They stayed like that for several moments, the silence wasn't so loud anymore. It was peaceful. Wheatley thought back to the constellations Space Core mentioned. _Pisces, Aquarius, Andromeda..._

"Hey, actually..." He began, letting go of Space Core's hand. "You mentioned constellations earlier, which ones did you see again?" He asked, despite knowing which ones he mentioned. He just wanted to hear him talk excitedly about space again.

Space Core perked up, flapping his hands and making a little humming noise. "Yes! You can see a lot from here..." He pointed at a cluster of stars very, _very_ far away from where they were.

"That's Andromeda!" Space Core stated, smiling at Wheatley. "On Earth, we could see it during fall," He continued. Wheatley smiled, forgetting all about that transmission he wanted to send.

Space Core talked for what had to be _hours_ on end, pointing out constellations and planets, many Wheatley had never even heard of until now. Of course, he knew the 9 planets, and the constellations Orion and The Big Dipper, but that was it. "-If we keep going like this, we could end up near Kepler-22b in about 24 million years," Space Core explained as Wheatley listened contently, occasionally asking questions or commenting. And that's how their days continued for a bit, but Wheatley enjoyed it this time around.

**Author's Note:**

> perigee is one of my favorite words so i'm v happy i got to use it :)! i just think it's so cute that in the ending cutscene, Space Core orbits Wheatley <3
> 
> i had to rewrite Space Core and Wheatley's fight like 7 times because it kept sounding super out of character, wheatley was always way too mean and space core was. just kinda flat. but i finally came up with something i'm happy with :)
> 
> ALSO i used the word "jerk" a bit to describe Wheatley looking around - this is because he has ocular motor apraxia (or, is supposed to, he's a robot so fhdshsdfh). i have oma and i love projecting- and my friend sent me a tumblr post talking abt his eye movement (and other things, but thats what i took from it) and i was like "oh fuck yeah representation" and have never looked back. basically, oma is when you can't really move your eyes side to side without turning your head, which is why he has to jerk his head a lot to see. 
> 
> i won't mention where else i projected bc it isn't relevant to the story at the moment, but i also projected some of my stims onto Wheatley and Space Core (i'm autistic & adhd).
> 
> again, i hope y'all enjoyed! <3
> 
> also,,, kepler-22b was the only planet i could think of bc im not into astronomy, i just watch Dad 😔😔😔 and, i know there's only 8 ~ actual ~ planets, but Space Core and Wheatley are FIRM believers that pluto is a planet n would beat the shit out of you if you said otherwise.


End file.
